We're all concerned, intelligent, good women. It's just that I feel stranded. and I thought the whole point was that we wouldn't feel stranded. I thought the point was we were all in this together.
From The Heidi Chronicles by Wendy Wasserstein
Not a bad start…
So far this year Nancy Pelosi has become the first female Speaker of the House, Barbara Buckley has become the first woman to be elected Speaker of the Nevada State Assembly and Harvard has named Drew Gilpin Faust to be its first woman president. Hillary Rodham Clinton has broken the record for campaign fundraising in her quest to be our first female president. On the other side of the coin is that astronaut in the diaper thing, but I think we can get past that.
What color is your thong
(and where do you wear it)?
Young women (my definition of “young” is now anyone under 50) have tired of hearing about the exploits of the Red Hat Society members (I think they’re just jealous). A group of them in Southern California formed the Blue Thong Society and the idea is racing across the country. Just Google it and you will find news articles from San Diego, Phoenix, Des Moines and Greenville, SC. Their motto is Fight Frump Forever. One difference from the Red Hat Society, which is just plain fun, BTS is also a philanthropic organization with each chapter supporting a charity or foundation in the community. There are six chapters in the Reno/Sparks area, but I can’t find a single one in Las Vegas. Come on, girlfriends, can’t one of you get this thing going? (BTW, the “thong” logo is purposely vague, depicting either a beach sandal or somebody’s rear end depending on how you choose to look at it.) Check it out, www.bluethongsociety.com.
The Big Read
Author Amy Tan will read from and discuss her popular novel, The Joy Luck Club
How old is “too old”,
and what does that mean anyway?
The folks at Dove® (the soap, not the ice cream bar) have gone a step further in their celebration of “real” women. Last year their commercials showing ordinary women (as in not professional models) in their underwear caused quite a stir. Well honey, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet! Actually, in the new Dove® commercial (available in the U.S. only on the web) you can see it all, on www.doveproage.com. It didn’t hurt that rock star photographer Annie Leibowitz was behind the camera. Five fabulous women over fifty (some more than a little over) bared it all for art, attitude, and Dove’s new line of skin care products. According to the dish on www.thebachelorgirl.com they started out in their undies, and then switched to thongs which were clipped away when they were comfortable in the pose. Comments? Send them to letstalk@herestogirlfriends.com
Best Friend
Denyse Wortham and I became “cyber friends” over two years ago because she was administrator for Southern Nevada Human Resource Association (SNHRA) and I held a similar position for National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) Southern Nevada. We had several members in common and agreed to promote each other’s events. Emails flew back and forth containing announcements about business meetings and awards events until one day I was stunned to receive an invitation to a SNHRA fundraiser to help Denyse travel to the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. Denyse had been diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia and the prognosis wasn’t good. Then our emails became very personal – but still we never met. That is, not until a couple of months ago when we finally made it happen. It was just coffee at Starbucks, but we finally met face to face. I was shocked at what I saw – or rather what I didn’t see. She looked great. No bandana covering a head balding from chemo treatments. No dark circles under her eyes. It was hard to believe this was a woman who is seriously ill, but she is. As I was leaving home, I had rummaged through my Barefoot Parties stash and pulled out a Survivor Necklace. She put it on and gave me a big smile and a hug.
Denyse would protest if I called her a “role model”. She doesn’t want any titles, she just wants to get well and enjoy living, working and loving her family – her husband and five children. But she can’t stop me from calling her an “inspiration”. So many of us don’t call our friends when they are seriously or chronically ill. We don’t know what to say. That’s a huge mistake because we need our girlfriends most when things aren’t going so well. People with life threatening illnesses are taking it one day at a time. It’s okay to call and say “How are you today?” They know that you know they aren’t great. Just ask – is this a good day, a bad day or a “just okay” day?
With any illness, there are good days and bad days. Not only physically, but emotionally there can be very dark days too. So listen carefully when you are talking with your girlfriend to learn how is she really feeling that day. Celebrate the good days and find hope in tomorrow with her. Those are the easy days.
When she feels bad physically there are usually practical needs you can help with, errands, food, medicine, or sometimes just go to be with her. Sometimes just having your girlfriends visit is a wonderful pick me up. Bring her a favorite treat and watch her smile!
So, the doctor has just delivered her some devastating news…what now? When she is feeling down emotionally let her talk, and you just listen. She will open up and share her fears, feelings and sometimes hopelessness. Remember, this is no time to sugar coat the issues. Death is very real and if she needs your help to secure things in her world, be there for her. Don’t be afraid to talk about what needs to be done. As busy women in today’s world, we have plans and schedules and know that our families need us. We must organize everything so that we can rest. If her needs are to help design a will, write notes to her children, get finances organized for her husband or make a cleaning schedule so others can help out around the house, this is just what you should do. Don’t be afraid of the unhappy needs that come along with illness.
Be sure to ask often what she needs as those needs may change daily. When she says she doesn’t feel like being around anyone and needs quiet time, just let her be and understand this is as much of a gift as anything else.
From Denyse: “I am learning how to be a good patient and terminally ill woman. This is no easy task. I am learning to speak up for what I need and what I want which is so important, and if you are a true girlfriend you should never be insulted by the wishes of your friend. Remember, none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so do what you need to make today the best possible day. Be a friend. Most important of all, praise God for everyday and every girlfriend in your life. We do understand one another like no one else ever will. God bless you.” (Editor’s note: Denyse’s last round of chemo was ineffective and this week she will be undergoing a more aggressive treatment. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.)
Do you have a “best friend” you’d like to share with the rest of us? Please send her story to letstalk@herestogirlfriends.com. (Be sure you get her permission first!)
Where the Girls Are
- Thursday, April 19, Moms in Business Network luncheon at Lawry’s; Guest Speaker, Punam Mathur. www.mibn.org
- Friday, April 20; Nevada Woman Magazine’s 8th Annual Woman to Woman Luncheon featuring guest speaker Carolyn Goodman (and a few surprises), 11:15 a.m. at Wynn Las Vegas. For information and reservations, call 258-4322.
- Sunday, April 22, Free Seminar – Create The Life You Want Now! Presented by Patricia Diane Cota-Robles, 10:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.at Fiesta Henderson 777 W. Lake Mead Parkway, Henderson. Space is limited so to guarantee seating please call 1-888-310-4488 to register.
- Tuesday, April 24: National Association of Women Business Owners, Southern Nevada; luncheon program “Leadership From Within” featuring guest speaker Andrea Goeglein, PhD,; 11 a.m. – 1 p.m.; Panevino Ristorante; www.nawbosnv.org.
- Wednesday, April 25, 11 a.m. at the Stirling Club, the non-profit organization, My Hope Chest sponsors “It’s My Party and I’ll Laugh if I Want To,” a luncheon to celebrate Administrative Assistant’s Day. For information and reservations, contact Alisa Savoretti, alisa@myhopechest.org.
- Thursday, April 26, Lisa Anderson’s Network for Women, 5:30-7:30 PM at the Stirling Club. Contact Lisa for more information, lisa.anderson1225@gmail.com.